This can just be a shameful attempt to swoop your partner, but it can also reveal an insecurity. The individual doing the flirting is, in fact, threatened by you on some level and is thereby attempting to take something from you and validate themselves in the process. In all likelihood, they wouldn’t have approached your partner if you weren’t dating them. They might not be attracted to them at all, and their only interest is in “winning” your partner away from you.
In their mind, if your partner can be convinced to leave you and date them instead, it proves they’re actually a worthwhile person of value. That they’re a coveted partner who is more worthy of love, affection, and devotion than you are. As such, when your partner inevitably turns them down and tells them off, it reinforces and feeds the insecurity that inspired the poor behavior to begin with.
7. Becoming excessively competitive over something trivial.
If you’ve ever seen someone go from 0 to 100 over something truly insignificant, you know what I’m talking about here. One minute this person seems fine, but as soon as something sets them off — usually concerning another person “besting” them at something that their ego is attached to — they go red-faced and start screaming obscenities.
This is akin to someone going way too hard in the ring after being invited for a light sparring session. They’ll fight as if their honour is on the line, and they refuse to countenance the possibility of losing. They don’t even let up if their opponent taps out, and like a bulldog with a jerky treat, they’ll only let go after repeated signals are given that the other has submitted. They want ultimate victory, and will gloat about it smugly for ages afterward.
8. Adjusting their clothes.
Another “tell” that an individual is deeply insecure is if they keep adjusting their clothes, hair, or other aspects of their appearance. For example, if someone keeps pulling their top loosely away from their abdomen, this could indicate that they used to be significantly overweight and that behavior became a reflex rather than a conscious action. On a subconscious level, they still feel insecure about their body and try to hide the midriff that used to be protrusive, even if it hasn’t been for years. Of course, body language can be misinterpreted (and often is), so it’s always important to take it in context rather than in isolation.
The same might be said for someone who’s insecure about any other part of their body. Others might try to overcompensate for perceived shortcomings by choosing clothing items that augment or deceive, rather than reveal. One might wear a girdle or other shapewear under their clothes, while another might only ever wear boots or shoes with a high heel to make up for their shorter stature.
Final thoughts…
Unless someone is a Buddhist monk who has abandoned ego trappings in their entirety, there’s a good chance they’re insecure about something. The key is to sit with this insecurity without self-condemnation, and then work on improving it. Only when this insecurity is repressed will it gain strength and grow.
Those who accidentally show their insecurities may seem insufferable at times, but they’re behaving this way due to deep-seated pain and likely aren’t ready to work through it yet. It’s best to be patient with them while simultaneously ensuring that they know you won’t tolerate disrespect or mistreatment.
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