That morning, Fifth Avenue looked like it had been scrubbed clean by winter. The sky was the color of dirty pearl, and the wind slid between buildings like it knew exactly where your skin was exposed. It found the gap at my collar. It wormed under the hem of my jacket. It made my eyes water before I’d even reached the revolving doors of ou
r office building.
I told myself I should have worn thicker socks. I told myself I’d order a better coat when my bonus came through. I told myself a lot of small, practical things, the kind you repeat when you’re trying to pretend you’re not already tired.
Outside the glass doors, just to the right where the marble wall met the concrete, a woman sat with her back pressed hard against the stone. As if the building might lend her a little of its stored warmth. As if leaning into something solid could keep the cold from pushing her out of the world.
She was bundled in a thin sweater that looked like it had been washed too many times. No coat. No gloves. Her hands were tucked beneath her arms, but they still shook, a faint tremor that made me flinch. The sidewalk around her was damp and gray, speckled with grit, and people stepped around her the way water parts around a rock. Quick, practiced detours without eye contact.
I’d seen her before. Or maybe I’d seen someone like her. In a city like ours, those stories blur together if you let them.
I tightened my scarf, dug into my pockets, and kept walking, already preparing the polite face I wore for these moments. A nod. A dollar. A quick, guilty smile.
My fingers hit lint. A receipt. A gum wrapper.
Nothing.
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